resisting temptation

today has been good!
except for when i woke up this evening (i'm nocturnal at the moment), my mother was just walking in the door, and she had just bought a bunch of my favourite food; coleslaw, lemon-lime solo, tim-tams, and to top it all off, chocolate croissants, which i have not had in forever! i avoided everything but two tiny bites of croissant. (i managed to throw the rest away)
if she hadn't seen me eating that, she would have been pretty suspicious, which i can not afford to have happen! apart from the chocolate croissant, i only had a glass of juice, some green tea and heaps of water.
so i'm still counting today as a fast day, because i ate barely anything, and only because i had to.
i hate throwing food away and wasting it, but seeing as it's only my mother and i in the house at the moment, i pretty much have to, otherwise she'd notice :/
i'm really hoping i can stick this fast out, so i can have a break from purging, and my throat, lips and knuckles can recover. i'm more determined than ever, i just want to be thin.

i want tiny arms.

i want beautiful, delicate wrists and hands.

i want my pretty collarbones to stand out.

i want a tiny waist, and my hipbones to stick out.

i want to see my ribs.

i want amazing, stick-thin legs.

i want every ridge of my spine to cast a shadow.

i want to be pretty.