OH MY GOD

my internet on my computer died.
which is why i havent been on!
fark, so annoying!
i really wanted to be on here every day, and updating, but nooooo.
im amazed it worked just now, so if its a long time before im on again, you know why!

anyway, i got a new phone finally, so im going to take photos of myself every day, for a couple of reasons:
 -so i can personally see some progress
 -so i can look back at how disgusting i was
 -for more motivation; i detest photos of even just my face or anything, so having to upload photos of all my disgusting fat is bound to make me think seriously about whether i want to eat or not!

obviously i wont be able to upload them every day, but each time im on ill just upload any from days i havent been on.

ah.
right.
so since my last post, ive been majorly fasting and restricting.
right now, im 38.5 hours into a fast.
i never want to eat again.
i went out with my friends yesterday, who i havent seen for weeks.
getting dressed was so horrible.
i looked so fucking fat in everything.
all of them are skinny.
i just wanted to die.
but
yesterday was the first day of my new forever,
of not eating,
of being skinny.

im going to fucking do this.

i'll try to catch up on all your blogs now, im so sorry for being away so long!
stay strong lovelies<3